Setting New Year Intentions When You Have ME
When you have a chronic illness, life can feel out of control. Here's how to set your intentions for 2024 for a slower, more joyful year ahead.
I am terrible at sticking to New Year’s resolutions. I must’ve made hundreds in my time: lose weight, go to the gym five days per week, stop going into Primark for socks and coming out fifty quid lighter. Honestly, I don’t especially believe in resolutions and find it even more jarring that we make these big plans for change while we’re on an emotional and physical comedown from Christmas and entering yet another cold, dark month.
So why am I even suggesting them to you? I’ve learned that resolutions aren’t really the answer but over time I’ve found setting my intentions for the time ahead to be a valuable resource.
“Aren’t they the same thing?”, I hear you ask. Not quite. For me, an intention can be more flexible, it can be words or images and can change from day to day, month to month.
With a chronic illness, we all know pacing is one of the most difficult things in the world. Rather than telling yourself you’re going to pace and track your spoons every hour and cut out every inflammatory carb, give yourself a little mood board to help you visualise how you’d like life to look. I’m a big fan of Pinterest for this but you can use paper, pens and glue in a collage style or just have some words in your head.
What are some good intentions for those with chronic illness?
While intentions are subjective, I’ve found that as a collective we tend to have things in common. Here are four intentions that I think are a good place to start- you can use these as weekly, monthly or yearly values:
Clarity for sanity: I’m a maximalist. I like things. My Christmas tree is currently adorned with bows and ribbons, vintage baubles and beading. However, we can all benefit from having a clearer space. Don’t go full force and set out to throw away everything you have, rather open your wardrobe and pick out two items at a time you want to sell or donate to charity. Slowly, you’ll feel less overwhelmed by choice and more peaceful in your surroundings.
Rest is best: The ultimate cliche for anyone with fatigue is to rest but I want you to see rest as not something you have to do but something you should do and that you should be able to enjoy in parts.
Your value in life is not measured by how busy you are, how much you earn or how many hours per week you’re out of the house. In my opinion, our reason for being is to experience joy with our loved ones and in order to do that rest is vital. You’re not missing out if you need to stay in bed all day, you’re not “losing” the game of life if you had to say no to doing overtime at work, the world isn’t going to end because you had to leave that meeting early to get some air and sit in silence. Your rest is what is allowing you to carry on in life, to have the time to hug your best friend or to go for a stroll with your dog. You not only need to rest, you deserve to.
Find My Cosy: Being unwell every day of our lives, we spend more time in bed than most people. Make your bedroom as comforting as possible within your own personal tastes.
Photo by Tom Van Soens on Unsplash Having the Christmas tree up and decorations around the house this festive season has taught me that mood lighting really impacts how I feel so I’m going to string some fairy lights round my bed frame. I also bought new bedding this year which brings me so much joy and I nabbed a second hand Lumie light on Facebook marketplace which really does make a positive difference. I’m going to ask for help clearing clothes off the floor and make sure I always have a bedside candle to light when I need that extra touch of relaxation.
Find Your Outlet: By outlet, I don’t mean local designer shopping outlet but your creative outlet. Depending on where you’re at with your physical health, find something you can dip in and out of during the week. I’ve been painting my own wrapping paper this Christmas and I’ve found it so relaxing. Sure, I can only really paint a bow but it’s a bow which has taken me away from the glaring eye of social media and allowed me to lose track of time. Crochet, sewing, card making… all things that can be done from your bed or sofa easily.
With intentions, there’s no measuring or feeling at risk of failure as everything is at your own pace and about bringing purpose and joy into your life.
If climbing the career ladder is what drives you most, work out how you can enhance your rest so you’re the best you can be at work. If combating the loneliness that can come with chronic illness is your intention, start slowly by joining local social media groups or setting a monthly mate date with a friend where you do something different each month like go to a car boot sale, try pottery painting or have an afternoon baking together. Nothing has to be hard and fast, it’s all about being gentle.
Photo by Grant Durr on Unsplash
My personal intentions for the coming quarter are around having more intimacy with my partner so we’re aiming for more touch and time without our phones. Equally, I’d also like to bake more fresh bread so I’m saving recipes which don’t require a ton of kneading and planning on how to rest between the proofing stages.
I throw out the concept of SMART goals, I refuse to spend another £20 on a diary I won’t use and instead I aim to live in the moment, setting my intentions along the way.
I hope you’ve all had a peaceful festive season. I know it can be so hard both physically and emotionally. I ended up spending four hours lying in a quiet, dark bedroom on Christmas Day as I massively crashed but I know I was lucky to be able to enjoy the majority of the day with the people I care about.
If you haven’t had a joyful time, try and find solace in the fact you are absolutely enough exactly as you are and there’s an entire chronic illness community out there rooting for you every step of the way. Have a calming, restorative and joyful New Year.
Three Things
This is the final part of the newsletter where I list three little things that have brought me joy lately which are low to zero cost.
Bows: 2023 has very much been about the year of the girl and I’m finding the narrative on what it means to be girly and embrace childlike sillines incredibly interesting. Sociology aside, I am loving the look of bows. I’ve made my own from crochet chains and ribbons and hung them on my Christmas tree and I’m wearing them in my hair at any chance. Bows remind me that femininity is beautiful.
Jodie Rogers: Just Jodie, in general. She’s bloody brilliant. Providing a stunning space online via social media content, classes and workshops, Jodie embraces the joy of slow living in a way that feels realistic to us “normal” folk who don’t live on vast farms and have clothes straight out of Little Women. I’d suggest subscribing to Jodie’s Substack, Slower Space, and enjoy a little digital hug in the form of her beautiful prose and knowledgable advice.
3. Olio: I am an Olio addict. The food sharing app has saved us so much money this year as local volunteers pick up unwanted produce from the supermarkets and list it up for grabs. We’re blessed to have a couple of people who pick up from Tesco and Co-Op and I’m often the lucky recipient of fresh baked baguettes or some veg I’ll chop up and freeze to use later.